Friday, April 30, 2010

The Tail is Definitely Wagging This Dog

So many things to do, so little time to do them in. So few of them actually turn out to be things that I want to do, but I don't realize that until they're fully done. Instead, I am doing them out of a sense of urgency, duty. And, to be completely honest, it's not so much pride of accomplishment that I feel when I'm done as relief. One more thing to wipe off of the white board of to-do's.

I had a dream last night. There was a storm coming and as I looked out the window, I could see a flag whipping in the wind. Snapping back and forth, rippling and twisting to the whims of Mother Nature. The sturdy flagpole stood straight and tall, not bending or swaying an inch in either direction. I waited and waited for a moment to rush out and rescue the flag, a safe interval where I wouldn't be subject to the fierce assault of rain and wind. Finally, I just decided to brave the storm. I dashed out into the day, lowered the flag before it fell into tatters, unclipped it from the pole and took a moment to rest my hand on the cold steel of the flagpole, thanking it for its unwavering support.

As I walked slowly back inside, feeling the full force of the cold rain pelting against my cheek I realized that the pole was desperately in need of this respite. Despite its visual lack of movement, the pole was constantly buffeting itself against the tug of the flag as it pulled this way and that in the storm. Bracing itself for unexpected movements.

For the last few weeks, I've been the flag. Racing to meet deadlines, parenting by the seat of my pants as Bubba ramps up his business yet again -on the road no less than four days a week. Today, I'm honoring the flagpole. The flag has been tucked away in a closet and I'm taking time to write and read and feed my soul. The flag is the flashy "see-what-I-can-do" banner waving in the sky for all to notice, but it's the pole that holds it up.


Carrie Wilson Link said...


Don't forget.

Promise you won't forget.


Go Mama said...

I hear you. And sometimes it IS like that. Then we stop and notice, and make an adjustment the best we can, honoring that part of ourselves that has withstood the onslaught but has been battered and bruised in all the busyness and obligation, and begin to provide ourselves with the self-nurturing and comfort we deserve, refocusing on what is essential and grounding.

Love this line: "The flag is the flashy "see-what-I-can-do" banner waving in the sky for all to notice, but it's the pole that holds it up."

Deb Shucka said...

What a great metaphor and powerful dream! I hope you'll remember not to forget to continue to take care of yourself. Love.

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