Thursday, August 07, 2008

Vacationing in Honeymoonland

All in the name of 'feathering my nest,' and reconnecting with my family, I was lucky enough to spend the last two weeks with Bubba and the girls in Hawaii. Lounging by the pool and the ocean, I had a lot of time to people-watch (one of my favorite guilty pleasures). What I noticed was a lot of newlyweds. About half of the population of the resort were newlyweds. Honeymooners.

I will admit, my thoughts ran to the gutter. Every morning as the four of us strolled down the hall toward the pool, towels slung over our shoulders, Bubba's espresso-radar on full alert, my eyes strayed to the doorknobs of our neighbors' doors. The DO NOT DISTURB signs hung on every second or third handle, proclaiming their need to sleep in or at least have some privacy. When I watched these couples lying next to each other on their lounges, holding hands, applying each others' sunscreen I reached far back into the nether regions of my memory trying to recall my own honeymoon.

Yes, we did manage to make it out of the hotel room from time to time to enjoy the beach and the scenery. We did explore the town and go for walks and have normal conversations. We weren't all over each other 24/7. So why was I surprised that these couples acted like normal human beings versus testosterone-driven animals in heat? Jealousy, I think.

I love Bubba and I know he loves me. We have inside jokes, share our thoughts mostly uncensored with each other. We make a good parenting team and have similar short and long-term goals. We have a terrific marriage and I honestly wouldn't change it. Except that we've been married for fifteen years and were together for three before that. History and longevity are important. Time marches on. Can't stop it, right? But as I observed new couple after new couple gazing into each others' eyes, oblivious to the others around them, just beginning their lives together - this was not 'playing house,' I felt a sadness that Bubba and I have passed the spark stage. We have a committed, comfortable, honest relationship but that newness, that shiny, we-are-invincible-and-the-center-of-the-universe-ness is gone.

I wouldn't trade my life for the world. Nope, not anything. I am blessed with a wonderful family and amazing friends. I am not complaining or whining. I just wish I would have fully appreciated that relationship newness more when I had it.


Carrie Wilson Link said...

Hmmmm.... good point! I can't even remember back that far...

Jenny said...

Well, sounds like you're appreciative now. Hawaii sounds heavenly.

Jerri said...

Know exactly what you mean.

And some would say "To everything there is a season." There's some truth in that, but everyone needs the feelings inherent in that spark stage.

You're ahead of the game. You know what you treasure about Bubba. (Lots of people forget what drew them together in the first place.) You know what's good in your life.

I sometimes wonder what would happen if couples occasionally started again, as though they'd just met. Maybe just a weekend. Maybe a whole week. But pure, uncomplicated fun once in a while would do a lot for most of us.

You once had it. You still do. Polish it up and take it for a spin.

Anonymous said...

Such an excellent point. I think that is why when I get very upset with David, I pull out all our old college and early wedding photos. Brings back so many great memories and the feelings of why I fell so deeply in love with him (still am).

Glad your trip was so wonderful.

Michelle O'Neil said...

We're not so sparky anymore either,(sigh).

I wouldn't go back though. I really wouldn't. The things we've learned along the way!

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