Sunday, November 25, 2007

Observations From the Dentist's Chair

  • I would rather get shots or have my blood drawn than experience the singularly uncomfortable feeling that comes from having the dental hygienist scrape the metal hook across the surface of the inside of my bottom front teeth.

  • There is nothing that activates the excuse-generating portion of my brain more than lying back in this chair with my mouth wide open, knowing that my brushing and flossing habits are betraying me.

  • Being a dental hygienist is a job I cannot ever imagine enjoying even for one minute.

  • It cracks me up to feel the air being pulled through my nostrils into my mouth when I close my lips around the suction straw.

  • The mere thought of berry or bubble-gum flavored tooth polish turns my stomach and makes me wonder how old my daughters will be when they begin to have that same reaction and fervently hope the dentist hasn't run out of mint.

  • Even though it has been ten months since I last sat in this chair it feels like it hasn't been nearly that long.

  • Crossing my ankles and clasping my hands together is strangely comforting in its ability to distract me from the skin-crawling reaction I get when a huge piece of tartar is being chipped off of my teeth.

  • No matter how much I dislike sitting here the day after Thanksgiving, I'd still choose this chair over fighting the holiday crowds at the mall any day.


Deb said...

So nice to hear someone else would rather do just about anything than sit in that chair.

Watching my mom suffer with ill-fitting dentures my whole life is what keeps me going back. My mouth is full of crowns, but at least they don't fall out!

ammogirl said...

Bleh. I actually don't mind going to the dentist, except for that scraping.

I would love to be an orthodontist. Is that weird? Teeth fascinate me.

Michelle O'Neil said...

I too would never set forth in a mall at this time of year. A root canal would be more enjoyable.

Anonymous said...

Very funny post. I don't mind going to the dentist, it is relaxing for me. Now that I just wrote that, I am thinking, how sad is that, I relax at the dentist? I am with you as far as shopping on Black way! I hate crowds. It is just not worth it.
Have a good week!

Casdok said...

Yes very funny! But so true!

Carrie Wilson Link said...

So true! You know, a little shot of something before you head to the chair, is quite helpful I've found. Me? My phone phobia is so bad, I actually dread making the appointment more than the actual appointment. Call me crazy - everyone does!

Miss Devylish said...

Oh Christ, give me crowds.. hell, give me a pit of cobras and throw me in it before I'll go to the dentist. I currently have a hole in one of my molars that hasn't yet bothered me (knock on wood) and I haven't been to the dentist since I moved here (ahem 11 yrs ago) and I floss every night and happily brush w/ my sonicare and was told I have beautiful teeth by the last dentist - even tho that was years ago. So, I'm cool. I'm better than cool. I should still go.. but egads.. after 4.5 yrs of braces and all that came with? Are you f'n kidding me?!

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