Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Something made me bite. Even though Bubba is (still) out of town and I'm the 'numero uno' parent right now (although not the preferred one if you ask my girls), I took the initiative to find a date and a babysitter and thought, "why not?" Even if her music wasn't my cup of tea, at least it was a way to get some time for myself with a friend, right?
Let me just say that it surpassed all my expectations. We were asked to bring a brunch item to share (a potluck concert? I thought) and some cash to buy CDs or drinks (mimosas and bloody mary's sounded good). Pulling up to a distinctly residential neighborhood I worried that this might be a little hinky. Walking through the front door and spying the view of the water and distant islands and the table piled high with homemade goodies, my worries evaporated.
Edie Carey is a terrific singer-songwriter. Should she not be able to make a living at either of those things, I suspect she would have a good shot at earning money as a stand-up comedian. There were perhaps 40 people in the room, most of whom had not heard her music before. She joked with us, told us stories of each of the songs before she sung them, and signed CDs for us at the break. She chowed on our homemade brunch items and gave most of us sincere thanks for supporting her today. One of her songs in particular gave me pause. She told us a story about an email she received from a man who wanted to hire her to perform at his wife's 30th birthday party. He then wondered whether she would write a song for his wife. He enclosed seven years' worth of love letters that they had written for each other in case she needed some inspiration. The result is a gorgeous song called "What Love Looks Like" that moved many of us to tears.
And so I began to wonder. After seventeen years of friendship (fourteen of them spent married), two children, multiple pets, two houses, three apartments, several jobs and a lot of time spent apart due to business travel, what does our love look like? I still consider Bubba to be my best friend. I am in love with him and relish any opportunity to go on a date with him. We make a very good team when we're running the household and parenting our children. We are capable of communicating at times without uttering any words. What does our love look like?
It is being excited for each other when one of us wants to embark on a new adventure. It is not worrying whether it will take too much time away from the family, but trusting that it will strengthen us as individuals and that, in turn, will make us all happier and better.
It is being able to recognize when the other one is feeling overwhelmed and step in to support them without making them justify it.
It is remembering the reason we fell in love in the first place.
It is not getting so wrapped up in what is going on today that we forget how much we loved each other yesterday.
It is feeling brave enough to speak our own truths, regardless of whether they match up or not.
It is knowing that when I feel like I'm going to fall down, all I have to do is yell, "Catch!" and Bubba will be right there, hands outstretched, no questions asked.
It is hating the fact that his frozen toes will press up against my warm shins just as I'm falling asleep at night. But hating the nights they aren't there more.
Friday, October 26, 2007
- Van Halen
- ZZ Top
- The Scorpions
- Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
- REO Speedwagon
Lest you think I was only a 'rocker chick', I also saw Depeche Mode, Orchestral Maneuvers in the Dark (OMD), REM, and INXS. This was back when concert tickets could be had for $15 at most and you didn't have to pay for parking. Sadly, I suspect my girls won't have these same experiences at $65 a pop and an additional $20 to park. Guess they'll have to settle for pay per view...
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Sunday, October 14, 2007
The power was out on the island so we couldn’t call anyone to come get us but they said it wouldn’t be down for long, so we decided to walk and wait. We came across this house with two pigs, an adult and a baby. They were both grey and dirty and ugly and the adult had huge sores on it’s back, filled with finger-width size worms burrowing in. I almost couldn’t stand to look at it. At some point the third person with us remembered that she had a house on the island and invited us to come have some food. By now the sun was shining and we followed her into the house and sat down at her kitchen table all together.
Friday, October 12, 2007
- My best 'writing' is done in one of three places: in the shower as I talk to myself, while I'm walking the dog, or in the grey, predawn hours as I'm between sleep and waking. I carry a mini-recorder in my pocket as I walk the dog because so often as soon as I get home the best phrases have flown the coop.
- My daughters think it's cool that I am working on writing a book and my oldest collects spiral notebooks and has begun dozens of children's stories in the last few months.
- When I was in high school and college, I firmly adhered to the formula of making an outline before writing anything. Now that I write for me, I can't even manage one powerful word if I use that method. Instead I have to firmly engage my creative mind and throw the rules out of my office on their a** in order to make magic.
- Writing longhand is incredibly difficult for me. I type almost 120 words per minute and can't write nearly that fast. Because my brain works so fast when I'm writing, I can't keep up as I write. Typing is the only way.
- The posts that I've dashed off without thinking about them too deeply are the ones that have gotten the most positive responses from readers. They are the ones that come from the top of my head and my heart and I doubt them every time - every single time. I am always blown away at the response to those posts and one day I'll learn to trust that process I hope.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Sunday, October 07, 2007
Friday, October 05, 2007
After all the seriousness of the last week, Ms. Carrie Link encouraged me to find some humor in my life. Luckily for me, I don' t have to go very far for that. Having become so jealous of all the exotic and wonderful places my husband gets to travel without us, we decided it was about time we tagged along. Unfortunately, since my passport is expired, the list of places we could accompany him were limited. Note to self: fix that ASAP!
Having said that, Sonoma, CA is not such a horrific place to have to spend five days at the beginning of October, so the three of us girls packed a bag and tagged along.
Since this is technically a business trip for my hubby, he spent the first two days working while the girls and I explored the area. Since they are quite a ways from being old enough to drink, none of that included wine tasting. Think bookstores, ice cream shops and the park. However, they were adventurous enough to join me on a road trip to the Point Reyes Lighthouse. Unfortunately we didn't realize until we got there that it is known as "the single windiest place on the entire Pacific Coast". They don't exactly trust my choice of activities anymore.
But I digress. Carrie's homework was, specifically, to find ten funny things that have happened to me. Being so far in the middle of this porcupine embrace, I was finding this difficult, but then, being married to my husband and having produced a child that is literally a miniature of him means that laughter is not far away at any given moment.
Last night I discovered just how glamorous my husband's business trips usually are. Unless there is some specific dinner or evening event scheduled after his day of work, his normal routine is to return to his hotel room, change out of his work clothes and open his laptop. Now, this is not generally a humorous thing unless I add a few details. At home, changing out of his work clothes means substituting them for one of his favorite t-shirts and a pair of shorts (May-October) or sweat pants (November-April). When he's on the road, he likes to pack light. What this means is that he generally doesn't want to waste space on extra clothes. So he sits in his underwear on the couch of the hotel room in front of the TV with his laptop on his lap and works until midnight. He did remark that occasionally he worries about how warm his 'fellas' get with the laptop after about a half hour. Good thing we're done having kids or I might have to intervene...
This evening my youngest came through with another piece of my homework. As I helped her older sister bathe after a long day of hiking and defying the strength of the wind on the Northern California coast, I could hear her singing at the top of her lungs out in the other room. As we emerged from the bathroom she was only too happy to perform her latest creation for us, inspired by the travels we've taken her on. It goes a little something like this (you'll have to create the tune for yourself - it's nothing you might recognize normally):
I like to live on a monkey ranch,
Because I do a monkey dance.
Which makes me smell like monkey pants
And that's even worse than the streets of France.
I'm thinking that so long as I continue to surround myself with my family, I'll be doing just fine...