"Chronic Jet-Lag Conditions Hasten Death in Aged Mice" shouted the headline from my email inbox. A resigned breath pushed out of my chest as possible responses scrolled through my mind. I know this person was just trying to be kind and alert me to the possible dangers of my husband's incessant business trips, but neither of us wanted this kind of information sent to us, well-meaning or not.
I still haven't responded, and I'm not even sure if the sender would care. My first instinct was to rise to a defensive position, justifying our choices as just that OURS, and explaining that, for right now, the choice to travel internationally poses more of an opportunity than...hey, wait. Why am I doing this? All of a sudden, four neon-red letters began blinking in my brain
This person is coming from a place of fear. They fear anything that changes their normal life. Illness, death, extreme weather, muggers, car-jackers, anything unpredictable that comes their way is frightening. At least once a week my inbox contains some sort of email instructions on how to protect myself from identity theft, carjacking, or rape in a darkened mall parking lot. I appreciate the concern that is being shown for me in this way, but I don't want to get sucked in to the fear. I hate that place.
I know from experience that it is not possible to talk yourself out of that particular ZIP Code. Logic does not penetrate that strongest of all emotions. But today, I am coming from a place of hope. I don't fully understand how I got here, but I am grateful that my core is at peace for now. I'm not going to worry about whether I'll find myself transported back to that dark scary place tomorrow or Friday or next week. For today, hope is in my heart and my head and I can look out the window and see the earth curling in to her slumbering position to rest for a while. I can feel the warmth of the love I have for myself and others unfurling inside me like a banner. I will radiate this today and submerge myself in it like a hot bath. I will let it steam my mind and heart open and surround me.
"Neither we, nor our children, will avoid change, loss, and death. But our children will interpret these things through the vision we give them. If you can manage to see through your fear of these three things, your children will have the greatest vision possible." William Martin, The Parent's Tao Te Ching